Christmas Wishes

Christmas is right around the corner and everyone is  busy preparing for that very special day.  There are presents to be bought, apartments and houses to be decorated and food to be prepared.  It's the same every year.  However,  a moment should be taken to reflect on the year and the people in our lives and to say "thank you" to your god for those people.  Life is short, so don't waste time and not tell the people you cherish that you love them. 
The holiday season is full of parties to attend and cards to be written and it's often difficult to take the time to let everyone know how you feel, but even a brief line would go a long way.  Hugs and smiles also work wonders. 
I want to take a minute now to wish all of my friends and family a very Merry Christmas, happiness, health and prosperity in 2014. May all of your hopes and dreams come true in the coming year.  

Making the Decision to Become an Expat

There are a lot of things that happen when you move to a foreign country that make you wonder if you made the right decision.  Every part of your being will be tested.  Who are you? What do you believe?  What is your culture?  How much stress can you handle?  All of these questions and more push you to your limits.  It isn't easy, no matter what anyone tells you.  If you have friends who are expats, take what they say with a grain of salt.  Your experiences will be different because you have a different way of thinking about life.

One thing I really would like to urge everyone to think about before they take an assignment in a foreign country is what they expect to encounter there.  If you expect it to be horrible, you're probably wrong.  If you expect it to be wonderful, you are also probably wrong.  I believe the best way to go about it is to not have any expectations about the country and people.  Go, explore, ask questions when you can, but don't hold the people you meet to any standard.  My experience has been if you go with an open mind and no expectations your experience will  be awesome.  On the other hand, going with a preconceived idea about how things are going to be will lead to let-downs and frustration.  This is true for any foreign country.  I love living in Germany but although I speak German it is still difficult. The other expats I have met here and the few Germans that have taken me in and made me part of their family is what makes it all worth it.

Go take a chance.  If you do, you will be greatly rewarded.  Yes, there will be days when you want to throw up your hands and leave, but stay.  Do it because in the end you will look back at the time and realize that you have grown as a person and maybe also in your profession.  You will have proven that you can handle stressful situations.  And, maybe, you will meet awesome people who will make you part of their extended family.  They will be part of your life no matter where you go in the world.

Starting a business in Germany

I have lived in Germany for almost 5 years and I really love it, but sometimes it's so hard for me to understand the reasoning behind the laws here.  For example, I've been teaching English since I got here and I really love teaching.  The schools here don't pay anything and I think I can do a better job on my own without having to abide by their rules.  My boyfriend asked me why I didn't teach privately and the idea to start my own school was born. 

It's pretty easy to get started teaching but it's not easy to abide by all of the laws here.  If you are a foreigner from a non-EU country you have a few hurtles to jump through first.  Please keep in mind that I am one person and not a major multinational organization.  First you have to apply for a visa then after getting your visa you have to get permission to open a business and you can only do this if it's economically beneficial to the area where you want to open it.  Okay, so far, so good.

Then, let's say, you want to advertise online.  That's a great idea, right?  In theory, yes.  The thing you have to be aware of is that there are lawyers in Germany that earn their money by surfing the net and finding websites that advertise to German customers.  They are looking to see if you have everything the German law requires.  If you don't have every I dotted and every t crossed, they will file suit against you and the fines are not small ones.  I think this is absolutely absurd. 

There isn't really any one place that will tell you everything you need to know to get started here.  There is, however, a place to start.

http://www.existenzgruender.de/englisch/self_employment/start/law/index.php

Take a look at this link, hopefully it will provide a few answers to the slew of questions you will have about doing business in Germany.  If that one doesn't help, here's another one that gives a lot of needed information. http://www.expatica.com/de/essentials_moving_to/essentials/setting-up-your-own-business-in-germany-27408.html 

Good luck.

Things to be Thankful for

Yesterday was Thanksgiving day and I know most of you cooked a turkey, whether fried, baked or grilled and sat down at a table full of family and friends, said grace and partook in a really delicious meal while watching football.  You do this every year and then you go shopping and spend money you most likely don't have without thinking much about it.  It's what we all do during Thanksgiving.
 
I would just like to suggest an alternative to this wonderful craziness.  Why not cook your meal sit down with whomever you are closest to, family or the guy that works in accounting at the office, enjoy  your meal and talk during the meal, instead of turning on the television and having it blast whatever during  lunch or dinner. Turn it off and talk to the people around you.  Tell them you are happy they are in your life and maybe, instead of joining the mad rush at the mall, sit down in front of the computer and order what you think they might like for Christmas, or even start early and make them something.  If you do this you will have more time to spend with them, instead of in traffic or stuck in a line of frustrated people who expect great customer service on the busiest shopping day of the year.  You could even invite the people you spent Thanksgiving with over on Friday and have a Thanksgiving leftover party and have them help you eat all that turkey you have in zip-lock bags in the fridge.  Have some coffee and play a game, relax and enjoy their company.  Life is too short to join the madness and not tell the people you care about just how much you care.  You don't know when they will leave you, either through death or a job transfer.  Take the time you have and tell them you are thankful they are in your life and enjoy the holiday season together, without the chaos.

Gap Ad

I just have a few words to say about the ad Gap has running with the man in the turban and the woman at his side.  How beautiful is that?  I think it opens the doors for a whole new era of ads in the States and around the world.  Why is it that every time we see a man in a turban there is some negative connotation attached to it?  I think most men who wear turbans would appreciate a little positive publicity once in a while.  For one thing, not every turban-wearing man hates Americans and two, how would we know anyway?  How many Americans have been to an Arabic country or India?  Not very many and with that being said, let's just drop all the stereotypes. I don't know why the media portrays them all as American-haters, but it all needs to stop and this won't happen until there is a little more cultural exchange and a better economy in the countries/ regions where the few  people who hate the States actually live.  Instead of judging them, let's try helping them build strong international economies.  I realize this isn't easy; that there are political and cultural obstacles but simply judging people and not trying to understand their culture, or worse, imposing your own on them is not the way to go about accomplishing peace and acceptance.  I salute the Gap for portraying someone other than a white, very thin woman as it's model for the Christmas season.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/web-responds-to-gap-s-defense-of-sikh-model-in-ad-campaign-185522447.html

Atheism in the United States

I read an online article today about atheist 'mega-churches' popping up in the U.S. and around the world and I have a few things to say about them and the people who call themselves atheist..  The first thing is, just because they don't believe in God or the Trinity doesn't make them inhumane axe-murderers who want to murder everyone.  Most atheist that I know are able to attend any religious service and get something out of it, whether it be a Southern Baptist church, a Pentecostal church, or a Methodist church. 
Every article that you read about atheism is negative and I would like to have that come to an end.  What are the people who call themselves "Christians" afraid of?  If they were true Christians they would live and let live and not judge people who belong to other religious or non-religious groups. 
One thing that truly irritates me is the preacher who gets up on Sunday morning and preaches to his congregation that drinking alcohol is a sin that you must ask  forgiveness for and then 2 hours after the service is sitting at home with a glass of red wine in front of him.  Is this not a bit hypocritical?  If this preacher were any good he would teach acceptance of others and their beliefs instead of teaching his congregation what horrible people they are because, if you look closely at  his life, chances are, he is only a human trying to make it in this world.  Judging others for their beliefs, or lack there of is just as bad as drinking a glass of wine after preaching that it is a sin to drink. 
If you are one of those people who believe that the United States is coming to an end because people are moving away from the church I have this to say to you.  Don't make laws that take others' freedoms away.  Just because you don't believe in something doesn't necessarily  make it wrong.  Don't be the one who invades other people's privacy and makes decisions, very private decisions, for them.  What goes on in their lives is none of your business.  If you don't want to drink, don't, but don't judge the man next door who enjoys a glass of wine in the evening.  The world would be a much better place if you would try and be a little more tolerant. 

Fruitvale Station

There is a theater here in Dresden which plays films in English late at night or if you're feeling lucky you can go to a Wednesday evening "Sneak Preview", where the theater doesn't announce the movie it's playing ahead of time.  The only thing you know when you buy your ticket is that it will be in English.  I've been once before and wasn't lucky at all.  The movie was called "Insidious" and was supposed to be a horror film that everyone laughed through.  However, tonight I was lucky.  The film was "Fruitvale Station" and I have to say it was one of the best movies I've seen in a while.  I like the documentary style of the movie and how the director chose to portray the main character. 
Many people hold the police in high regard and don't think that they are capable of making mistakes.  I don't.  Do I respect the police?  Sure, but I also  know that they are humans fully capable of being prejudice, disliking certain things, and just plain having a bad day.  I wonder, though, if Johannes Mehserle, the policeman who shot Oscar Grant to death ever thought once about how his prejudices could influence his decision making skills.  If he did, what does this say about the police in California, or the United States as a whole?  Racial profiling occurs everyday, but how can we use it in a way that doesn't violate individual freedom, or even leave a young man dead at the age of 22, a daughter fatherless before she's old enough to go to school and a girlfriend and mother regretting conversations they had with him shortly before his death. 
There are so many young black men in the prison system, I can understand why police think every black man is a bad guy selling drugs to their children.  But that is the problem.  If everyone thinks a certain group of people is bad then they will typically find a reason to continue to think in that way.  At some point, someone has to break the cycle.  I believe that if the cycle is to be broken, people ( yes, all of us) have to change the way we think.  This doesn't only mean you and I, but the government as well.  Holding students back, or not giving them the time and attention they need begins the cycle but putting young men behind bars and/ or killing them doesn't end it but rather furthers the problem. 
"Fruitvale Station" does an excellent job of presenting the story in it's true light and making the viewer consider all of the issues surrounding profiling and the police's use of force.  Everyone should see it.

Men and Miscarriage

I first found out that I was pregnant somewhere during my 8th week of pregnancy.  Mainly because I had been trying and wasn't successful, I stopped tracking my cycle and just gave up on the idea of  getting pregnant.  I started bleeding lightly on Thursday evening and then it stopped a few hours later.  Friday I went to work and nothing out of the ordinary happened.  I felt a little queasy, but given the circumstances, I didn't feel the need to rush to the doctor.  Saturday morning I woke up to more blood and hot flashes, but still I didn't go to the doctor.  Saturday I spent lying around with the windows open because it was cool outside.  Saturday night I went to the E.R. because the blood hadn't stopped and I was scared.  When they did the ultrasound the doctor turned the screen away from me and my boyfriend was the only comfort in the room. 
Unfortunately, the look on his face when he saw the ultrasound wasn't comforting.  The doctor was  polite and apologized for making us wait so long, but in the end there was nothing to be done.   The baby had made it's exit to wherever unborn babies go.  I think to heaven.  The weeks that followed were very difficult. A D&C was performed a week later, because all of the surgeons in the city were either on vacation or sick.  I ended up with a cyst on my ovary because the hormones in my body didn't fall quickly enough and I had to have it surgically removed 4 weeks out and was hospitalized a third time due to severe abdominal pain. 
Through it all my boyfriend stayed by my side and took care of me when I was too weak to take care of myself.  He cooked, cleaned, visited me in the hospital put cool clothes on my neck when I thought I couldn't stand being sick anymore.  I think he suffered more than me, at  times, because he remembers things that I was fortunate enough not to remember, due to hospital drugs or sleep.   He said repeatedly that it was his fault and he wished that I had never gotten pregnant.  I know that he still suffers today four months out.  The one thing I tell him is this:  Life is a gift, a precious gift and sometimes you can plan things and they all go right.  Other times, you plan things and they go wrong, or not at all, and you get frustrated or confused.  In the end we are all human beings who unfortunately don't have complete control over what happens in our lives.  If god wants to take our baby home before he or she is born, we can't control that.  What we can control is how we react to that circumstance. 
If you are a boyfriend or husband out there who has lost a baby, the one thing I want to say to you is that it's not your fault.  I have so many girlfriends who have lost babies that it's astounding that any child is born.  They all have children now.  I am still hoping for one, but this information gives me hope that one day we'll have one, too.  Don't give up hope.  Don't stop trying because you think you are at fault.  In 95% of the cases, the doctors simply don't know what happened.  I think children are such a precious gift to parents. Don't throw up your hands and give up at the first loss.  It's so common that even the doctors don't say much about it.  Read online, educate yourself , mourn your loss and move on.  Don't sacrifice what could be for something that you've lost.

Technology

Can I complain for a minute about how much trouble technology is sometimes?  I do realize that Skype, Gmail and Facebook make living abroad bearable but once you forget your password, or worse when your account is hacked your life very quickly becomes a nightmare of question and answer sessions.  Oh, and god forbid that you forget what your security question is or the answer to one of the questions.  Then there is the issue of that wonderful foreign language, because it's impossible to live in a country and not speak it's native language, or so Google thinks.  Even if you're proficient in the language having to read in it and figure out exactly what they want on top of being stressed about forgetting all of the questions and answers being asked of you is just craziness in a glass jar. 
I do so hope no one goes through this often.  Technology is so nice to have when it works.