I've been holding conversation groups at the TU here in Dresden and often have time before or after the meetings to peruse the bookshelves for interesting reads. The bookshelf closest to our meeting room happens to have lots of books in English about the American government and political issues that are also controversial. I found a book there last week that I'm currently reading called Bearing Right: How Conservatives Won the Abortion War.
I was an avid supporter of Dr. Carhart in the States and my views on abortion and women's rights haven't really changed since I moved to Germany. By the way, it's legal here and you don't hear much about it. One thing has though, I had a miscarriage last year and since then have felt a sense of loss; a hole in my heart, if you will. I wanted to be pregnant and losing it was heart-wrenching. So it's now my opinion that it doesn't matter how far along you are in your pregnancy when you either miscarry or choose to have an abortion; it's still a loss. Yes, with abortion the woman chooses to end the pregnancy, but the feelings of loss are there. The difference is the way she is treated afterward.
I know that the world as a whole doesn't think abortion is right, but stop for just a moment and put yourself in a woman's position. A woman who has 2 or 3 children at home, not far apart in age and thinks her tubes are tied, because that's what the doctor told her after her last delivery. She's not taking birth control because she thinks there's no need for it. Then a few months later, she finds out she's pregnant again. Her husband has a good job, but she stays home with the kids and they just can't imagine having another mouth to feed.
Imagine being a woman who has tried for years to get pregnant and hasn't been successful, until one awesome day in her 30's, and being absolutely thrilled, until she and her partner learn in her 26th week that the baby doesn't have a brain that is developing normally, or who has tested positive for Down Syndrome. She knows her life has changed forever. No matter what decision she makes, it's heart-wrenching.
Now, what about the 16 year old girl who has been molested since she was 11, who decides it's time for her to find someone who loves her. She meets Mr. Right, has sex with him, because it's natural for her, she's been doing it with her molester since she was 11, anyway. This time she gets pregnant, because Mr. Right isn't trying to cover his tracks, like her molester is. She wants an abortion because in her heart of hearts she knows it's the worst thing that could happen at this point in her life. But she can't, because she needs a parent's signature to have the procedure done. Her father is molesting her, her mother is in denial, or doesn't know. Both think she's a whore. Should she be forced to have that child and raise it, or give it up for adoption because she made a mistake at 16? If you say yes, or that adoption is the answer, you are heartless.
If you still think that no woman has the right to end a pregnancy because it's murder, well, there are worse things which could happen in life. You could be raped and told by someone else that abortion is murder, so you have to bear that child. Now, you have to raise a child that you hate. Or because you can't bear the idea of carrying your attacker's child, you drink motor oil and induce the abortion yourself.
Life is full of choices that you make, everyday, without much thinking about it. There are others which give you pause. Difficult decisions. Decisions that no one else has the right to take away from you because they are personal and private. No matter if you have a family to support you, or not. The decision is still difficult and you, not me, or anyone else, must live with the consequences.
I would like to say that abortion isn't an emotional issue, it's medical and personal. But the reality is, that it's very emotional. No woman makes it lightly. The least any of us can do, is respect her right to choose and support her in any way we can through that very difficult time in her life.
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